HUGE STAKES HANG IN THE BALANCE FOR EVERYONE — Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani and Jason consider just how much they have (or have not) improved. Michael is left to deal with the consequences of his recent actions.
In an empty room there are two glowing portals on the wall. There are screams, and the four are flung out of one of them, onto the floor. Michael isn't there, nor Janet, Eleanor explains that Michael sacrificed himself for them.
The hall they are in has nobody there, just a desk, with a burrito sitting on it. They wonder if this is a test, perhaps they are to eat the burrito, or speak to it.... Then the Judge appears behind them, a middle-aged woman in judge's robes, who speaks to them in a very colloquial manner: "What's up, guys?"
The Judge is surprised to learn that the four just came there, no papers or anything, so she says to be comfortable. She snaps her fingers, and the four are back in their usual casual clothing. She gets their very-brief files, glances at them, says their case is denied, and points them to the portal. She says she's instantly absorbed everything about them, and they are so "cute", but they have no paperwork, no advocate, so the rules say to send them back.
Tahani pleads for a moment, but really the Judge has no reason to listen to them, except she's bored, she hasn't had a case in 30 years, so she'll let them try.
In Shawn's office, Shawn complains to Michael, but Michael said he did what he had to do. Shawn reminds Michael how much Michael learned from Shawn about torture. And Bad Janet shows Good Janet reduced to a marble, so she won't help either.
The Judge gives the four a test to see what progress they made, perhaps they'll merit the Good Place. (Jason asks for a group test, so they can cheat off Chidi.) Eleanor does argue that they be graded as a group, since they got here by helping each other. The Judge thinks that's a truly bad idea, but she accepts it.
The Judge leads Jason to a room with a video game system, and says he has to play against the Jaguars (his favorite team!), playing the Tennessee Titans, and he has to win.
The Judge leads Tahani to a door, to go down the hallway, through the red door at the end. But everyone in rooms down the hall will be discussing what they think about her. She goes in, it looks like a hotel hallway, all the doors are closed, but they have names on them, like her childhood friends, or other celebrities, or ordinary people: a test of her not caring what they think of her.
Shawn asks Michael whether there really were over 800 reboots, and whether all the torture reports were fake, and Michael agrees, but he didn't plan it that way, he was just trying to prove that humans could torture each other, but they surprised him by helping and improving each other. This shouldn't have been possible for bad people to do, maybe they belong in the Good Place.
The Judge gives Eleanor and Chidi what looks like the same test as Tahani, doors into hallways... except the doors lead back to the central room they started from. The Judge says, for them, there is no test, they are in, they deserve the Good Place. She hands them medallions, the Good Place portal opens, and she says go. Eleanor and Chidi celebrate, but are brought down when the Judge says Tahani and Jason didn't make it. The Judge is doing more tests to see where in the Bad Place they belong, so they should reconsider the "judge us together" thing.
Eleanor and Chidi are alone as the Judge eats her burrito (yes, it was simply her lunch), and Eleanor says, this is the test, she bets the Judge gave Jason and Tahani the same offer, and whichever couple takes it, actually loses. The Judge says no, wrong, Tahani and Jason didn't get the same offer; she shows them videos of the tests Tahani and Jason are doing (which we already saw). Chidi says if it's not a test, it's worse, it's a choice he and Eleanor have to make, and he's bad with choices.
Tahani is still going down the hallway, noting the celebrities that are (said to be) behind those doors talking about her. She's only a few doors from the red door, when she sees a door, behind which are her parents. She can't resist, she goes in, and they are there, wondering why Tahani was such a disappointment compared to her sister.
The Judge checks in with Jason, not good, he's down by 3 points, and strangely, he's sitting there in meditation pose, meditating to calm down. He knows he hates scoring against his own favorite team, and realizes the Judge already knew that.
Tahani's parents have so much to tell her about her sister, and Tahani complains, in this test everyone is supposed to be talking about her, but her parents are just talking about her sister. She realizes that she was never going to enough for them, but wishes them both the best, leaves, and goes through the red door.
Shawn doesn't want to give Michael the "retirement" process, that would gain attention. So he puts Michael in a room to stay in for eternity, nothing but New Yorker magazines for entertainment. But his Janet reveals that she's actually the good Janet we know, and tosses Shawn against the wall, so Michael and she can leave.
Chidi and Eleanor are still trying to decide, they've gone through every ethical argument, and after a moment of repeating ethical issues, Chidi suggests, let's put ethics aside, maybe he and Eleanor deserve to be together, and happy for once.
Eleanor calls the Judge, and announces... they're not going to the Good Place. She knows it was never actually an option, but this choice with Chidi shows her that he (Chidi) isn't really Chidi: The Chidi she knows wouldn't argue that he should be rewarded while his friends got punished, and he would never put aside ethics for a second. The Judge waves her hand, and "Chidi" vanishes. The Judge says Eleanor did fine, she should wait for the others.
The real Chidi is still in his test, he has two hats in front of him, one brown and one white, and he has to choose. There's a clock that shows he's been at it for an hour and 22 minutes. At 1:23 he picks the brown hat, and the door opens.
All the tests are over, the four assemble in front of the Judge, who announces that they are all going to the Bad Place.
Chidi asks why he failed, and the Judge says it took 82 minutes to choose a hat. And Tahani wasn't supposed to open any doors, she came close, but not close enough. Jason showed great improvement in impulse control, but he failed because he didn't ask if he could just not play. The Judge is about to say what Eleanor did, and Eleanor lies: she says she shoved an old lady down stairs to get to the raw bar, so they all failed. The Judge nods and lets her lie pass.
The Judge waves, and the two portals open. The four say what amount to some good-byes to each other. Then there's a sound, and Michael and Janet pop out of the portal from the Bad Place.
Additional cast Edit
Guest starring Edit
Gen's picture show of her time with the group is accompanied by Bette Midler's recording of "Wind Beneath My Wings".